10.22.2012

No voice na ata

I thought I was getting better, but I now have an ear ache and my voice is pang-kabaret na ang sound.  all the stress I went through ata is taking a toll on my body na.

And oh, just remembered.  Our tank ran out of water. If B doesnt move his d ass and order NOW, we will end up with
no shower tomorrow.  The worst part  is Adrian will also have to go to school early so I don't really need delays.  This has got to be fixed.

I am having rashes just thinking of stuff.  Sheesh

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10.21.2012

May Sakit Pa Rin!!!

I am barking like a seal!!! Days na, may ubo pa rin, and yung dry cough ha!!!Waaah hirap!!!Didn't do my laundry pa. My rant is that if I am sick, my girls won't move!  I think it was wrong of me to pamper them by believing that somebody would pick up on their mess because Tita Jho is there and Mama will do the laundry and Papa will drive them to school...

And I wallow in self-pity again as I wish for my mom to be here with me as I begin to understand how she made my life easier when she was alive. If I needed a massage, she would do it for me.  When she was gone, I was pretty much on my own.

Senti mode. La lang

10.19.2012

Tamad, what's new

Sorry, Journal, neglected you yet again.  I must have not logged in for two weeks.  My dad had to be taken to the emergency room last October 9.  He had a foley catheter on him the previous day, Tuesday, since his creatinine is really really high.  He was okay, when he went home, although, you know my dad, he seems cool in the scariest circumstances.  I went out with Bino to pick Paula up and when we got back at around seven pm, blood was coming out of the catheter.  I was soo worried cause the blood looked fresh.  It literally looked like his urine turned into blood.  Yet, yung grumpy old man, cool pa rin.  Hayy, I had to text Dr. Pee and the good doctor was actually prescribing meds thru text (ambait, unlike other doctors).  He asked me to give him hemostan, but si grumpy, ayaw.

The next day, at around eleven am, I received a text from jo telling me that Bino took papa to the hospital.  Apparently, papa got scared of the blood and got worried that his blood would dry up ( I am thinking vampires turning into bits of paper under the sun ha!).

I followed them at the ER, only after getting Nicole's headphones (she had no school that day! I love it when the brain has such vivid memories of stuff, but forgets the really mundane things).  I was even texting Manong Anton about the delayed payment of the CRV (woohoo, new car)because Papa was in the hospital.  Papa was not given a private room at first, but at a windowless treatment room instead. We left him there because he insisted he does not like to have bantay.

Anyway, Kuya C found out, and I did not stop him from coming over. Para may magbantay, o di ba?

He got out of the hospital saturday, after a blood transfusion, since he lost some blood pala. Ang pale nya kaya. I was sooo worried that he is sinking into depression.

I still worry about him a lot, because he totally hates the catheter.  He wants it removed, and won't care about living anymore.  Sabi nga nya, he wants na to be with mama.  Ayoko naman kaya.  If that happens, I might break down.

I might look tough and resilient outside, but my inner body easily breaks down to stress.  My eye bled because of stress.  Sunday, I thought I had flu, and I do, now.  Kaya absent ulit sa work. Haist.

I hope papa will get better.  I dont want him sulking around...